Friday, August 28, 2009

Halloween II '09

I'm gonna start off by saying that I LOVED Rob's first Halloween movie. It was brilliant and he did a GREAT job of keeping the much needed orginal flavor.

Now, on to numero dos. There is gonna be spoilers in here.. so if you don't want to know details. Stop now.

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Ok, you asked for it. The movie starts off right where the last one ended. Hauling away Michael in the meat wagon and Laurie is off to the hospital. After a few necrophilia jokes from the van drivers hauling Michael they, of course, get into a tragic accident..... with a cow? WTF? Maybe I'm an F'n moron or something.. But, how the hell can a cow cause the damage this one did. Super cow? 1 of the 2 drivers is still alive and barely kicking. And guess what happens then. YUP.. Michael Myers bullet still in head comes to his rescue. Not really. Cuts the dudes damn head off.!!!! Then follows his ghost mother down the road. Oh and she has this big ass white horse with her.

Here is how the rest of the story goes in regards to this part.

"Don't you think it strange that they never found the body"

"Listen here, Michael Myers is dead, i'm sure his body will show up"

Never a mention of 2 parts of a cow. Or 2 parts of a dude in the middle of the road. Oh, and then the body just walked away. NO F'N WAY MAN. If that shit really happened. Everyone with a badge and every red neck with a gun would be combing that whole state for the most gruesome serial killer in the movie world.

Another thing. Michael is sporting the Grizzly Adams look. Full beard. Thats cool and all. I'm sure RZ wanted to make it look as real as possible. And he also decided to make sure both of his eyes worked too. OH, and no huge bullet hole in the middle of his head. That tends to screw up ones vision. I don't mind if he wanted to go the supernatural route with him, but, it seemed like he was dancing on both sides of that. Lets make him as human as we can. But, lets add the supernatural as well. Sometimes we can't have both.

Michael starts to make his trek back to Haddonfield after his ghost mother and ghost child self tell him Halloween is coming. I don't get the whole ghost of himself as a child. Most psychos hallucinate family, friends, or something. OR, think of themself as still a child. But, not see yourself. His mother was talking to the two of them as if they where seperate people.

When reaching Haddonfield hell starts to break loose in the best planned RANDOM kills. Maybe he remembered as a child, but, it was too perfect that Michael JUST HAPPENED to come across his mother's old strip club she worked at. Mikey was very keen about people's living arrangements as well. She was staying with her best friend and her father the sherrif. Seemed VERY convienent that he somehow knew that Lori was going to be at a Halloween party. And of course just HAPPENED to kill one of her friends in the process. 100's of others there. But, just managed to find that girl.

I suppose if we wheren't being torn between two different ideas with this movie, it would have been better for me. Honestly, I just didn't like it. It won't be a purchase for me. The white horse, the pulling between a supernatural horror, and a slasher film just doesn't work. It seemed like RZ couldn't even decide himself what he wanted to do. You can't just have this "7 foot fuck tard" (movie quote) that has the worst case of every mental illness reported.. just KNOWING what the hell to do. Unless you wanna go supernatural horror. And the same goes in reverse. You can't humanize someone like this either the way you did. You gave too much away about him. Took his mask off, grew a beard, showing his face. You can't give us both sides of this.

AND THE CHARACTERS.. there was nothing there. You got Laurie Strode. Thats it. We have more character developement in Dr. Loomis, who all the sudden is some millionaire rich bastard making money off all the people that died. You know what happened.. Remember that South Park episode they had about the new Indiana Jones... Thats what RZ did to Dr Loomis. He killed the Dr Loomis that i was into in the first one. I don't even know why he was there. He had NOTHING to do with the movie till the very end. His involvement was pointless. The story just sucked. I could have farted out a better plot than this... RZ even tried to bring together some sort of plot. Beyond the, kill the sister theme. he tried to do some, "family bonding" type theme. But, i don't know where the hell that was coming out of.

Maybe this is just me dissappointed in what I thought the movie should have been. People loved this movie from what i've read. But, others out there feel the same way as I did. RZ road up on this "white horse" with ideas of part 1 and dropped kicked us with awesomeness. Then got a big fat check to make part 2. And then just dropped the ball. Part 1 is a stand alone movie in my opinion. There is no part 2.

I'll watch everyone of RZ's movies he puts out. I just didn't like this one.

4 comments:

  1. Hey, you forgot to mention that there wasn't enough TnA. RZ fell realy short of that quota.

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  2. oh yeah.. there was only 2 sets of boobs.!!! LOL

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  3. I did not like this movie either. There were no likable characters and I hated the Grizzly Adams look... plus, WTF is up with the ending? I hated it!!!!

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  4. Go down the page and watch the trailer again.... Should have left it at that.

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